One might think that to be a missionary, it is to hear a voice from Heaven say “Go to *a name of a foreign country*” To think it is to be called, and then going.
My dream, started in January 2016. When I was constantly reminded about Estonia, the church and worship ministry I had experienced. It was odd. It was unexpected that time. You see, the thing is, I am an Estonian who moved to Amsterdam to get to know what I believe, get to know my God better in a discipleship school called Masters Commission Amsterdam Noord [MCAN] in August 2012.
The school is connected to the local church Agapé Amsterdam which became my community of friends and ministry. Over the years I have become one of the worship leaders, and an MD (music director) – as a volunteer in worship ministry, as it usually is in Europe.
Four years in Amsterdam: three years of discipleship school graduated, growth in character and faith, having full time job in a good hotel, serving in a worship ministry in Agapé, being super blessed with my friends. Things were going well, I could almost make a decision to really stay here. Almost.
But then, God called me. No loud voice from heaven, but with several and constant reminders and new ideas. Called from Amsterdam to Estonia. Unusual in couple of ways. First, I am Estonian, native Estonian speaker from a typical Estonian family, who lives in Amsterdam, but He calls me to Estonia… as a missionary.
Second, I am not called typically to preach the Gospel, but specifically to do worship ministry: to inspire, inform and facilitate churches in Estonia to be the worshipers we are called to be, and believe in the impact of that. It was different than anything I have heard, so I doubted. I needed confirmation.
One of them happened on a regular working day when I was helping an American couple, pastors they appeared to be, who spoke the first words of encouragement from the bottom of their hearts. Close friends of mine were not surprised to hear me say that I think God is sending me. My internship leader, a pastor and a missionary herself also confirmed. And then my pastor, he directly connected me with our church deacon over mission..
I accepted the dream. I started dreaming with God. I wrote down everything. At some point I had a document called “Vision: Mission Estonia Worship”.
To be honest, after 16 months of recognizing He is calling me to Estonia and dreaming about it, I wish that I could just go and do all the things He has laid on my heart. But that is the thing. LESSON 1 about MISSION. I need other people.
I have had to let my church leaders to also recognize my calling to be a missionary. I need my current worship team and other friends praying for me and dreaming with me in this preparation time. I need people in Estonia to welcome me.
I met a wonderful woman, a director of a Theology Seminar who welcomes me in Autumn to the school’s team to teach about worship; the leader of Estonian Pentecostal church have welcomed me to the new Bible school and minister to newly planted churches!
I need people to correct my grammar in newsletters. I need people to help me translate materials into Estonian. People for advice. People to help me build this website to keep you all updated. I need to find people to partner with me financially to be able to fully commit myself to the calling. I need people here and there, from the beginning and till the end. So I am thankful for the people I have! I am also thankful for those people I still need and are on the way crossing their paths with me. Because I could not do this without them (you) all.
Rick Warren has written:
“Nothing starts happening until somebody starts dreaming. Every accomplishment started off first as an idea in somebody’s mind. It started off as a dream. It started off as a vision, a goal.”
God gives us dreams, but we need to start dreaming those dreams, and then we see things happening. And I dream to see Estonian worship teams knowing each other for encouragement and serving together. I dream to see Estonian worship teams learning from a course written for them. I dream that Estonian worship teams have their own database of worship songs. I dream that Estonian worship teams do discipleship. I dream of a big conference where people are in heartfelt worship, where more experienced worshipers share to the less experienced. I dream that Estonian churches will be taught and led to worship our GREAT God. And from there, I dream that the singing nation will be lead to know our God and sing to Him and about Him.
God did not call me yesterday and is not telling me to leave tomorrow. He has given me time to dream and to invite others to dream with me. And so I dream, and invite You to do it with me.